If Hollywood studios are looking for talented script writers, they should look no further than the shores of Singapore, what with the absolutely ingenious and utterly fictional script written of Mas Selamat's aka Mas Houdini's (Give me a break. Even Houdini couldnt pull this off.) great escapade from a heavily guarded detention center in Singapore.
Did Mas Selamat really escape from a maximum security detention center on the pretext of a piss, or since it apparently is the vogue to write scripts, could I preposterously write my own, and suggest that we are instead talking about a dead man pissing?
Think about it. The concept and ideology of 'kiasuism' applies not only to the average Singaporean. Were you recently at the Singapore Airshow? I bet you were not exactly amused that you had difficulty in moving anywhere without being checked and scrutinized for any elements of a security threat. Oh. The ignominy of being treated like a criminal while at the same time deprived of breathing air must have really irked you, didn't it? And the worst crime you ever committed was litter and jaywalking.
Now consider the fact that Mas Selamat is the head of the Singapore affiliate cell of the JI. Am I the only one who finds it ludicrous and improbable to fathom the thought that such a figurehead of such political sensitivities would be allowed to take a pee without close supervision?
Was he well-versed in martial arts? Perhaps he dabbled in black magic? To add the proverbial punch to the story, he managed to leave the detention center with a permanent limp in his left leg. (Take that, Carl Lewis) For those of you not awares, the detention center is actually guarded by ISD(Internal Security Department) and Gurka officers. The Gurkas are a disciplined, tough, mechanical, almost mercenary outfit of men from Nepal trained to kill, or at the very least, maim adversaries.
Please do not insult my intelligence by insinuating that the man just simply waltzed his way out of the detention center, bad leg and all. Something lurks beneath the surface and the entire episode reeks of a conspiracy theory. How, exactly, did Mas Selamat escape?
There are several theories:
1) He fought his way out of the damn detention center. Yeah right. Provided the man takes bullets as a health supplement.
2) He utilized black magic. Who needs Harry Potter when you have a magician right on your door-step?
3) He bribed the entire goddamn facility. With all due respect to the good men of the ISD and the Gurkas, I steadfastly hold the belief that our security forces are corruption free, GOD willing. By the way, stop blaming the SPF for this entire saga. The ISD reports directly to the Prime Minister's office and the Gurkas report directly to... well... whoever is in charge of the Gurkas, which, by the way, is definitely not the JI. Therefore, categorically speaking, the ISD is not a direct affiliate of the SPF.
4) He actually did ask to go for a piss, got pissed off, (Mas Selemat is notorious for his disdain for incarceration) decided that he had enough of being detained, said goodbye to everybody and walked out of the center. Yes Sir. We believe you. If we had peas as substitutes for brains.
5) Mas Selamat is dead while in detention. For fear of reprisal, I shall not speculate on how that may have occurred. Draw your own conclusions.
I may be jumping the gun but how would Singaporeans react should Mas Selamat's body conveniently turn up mysteriously somewhere in a deserted outpost?
The answer is: Relief would inundate the island that the saga is over that nobody would even question how he ended up dead in the first place. As conspiracy theories go, this would conceivably, be the biggest in the history of Singapore.
I could be a Hollywood script writer myself but until somebody can reasonably explain to me how Mas Selamat managed to get out of the detention center in the first place, I am simply not buying the story that we lost Singapore's most wanted man due to an alleged piss.
It seems to me, that to the contrary, we could all be the victims of a great piss in the face by the authorities.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Have you ever felt that you were fighting a losing battle, one that, despite your most valiant efforts, you were destined to lose from the very beginning?
Why then, do we fight on? Who then, do we fight for? Most of us stumble through life without having a fucking clue what exactly we want out of life. Go here, do that, we are told. We have lost the primal and basic ability to think for ourselves; like a misguided dog chasing its own tail, we travel in a circular route, seeking our self worth and inadvertently find ourselves back where we started, disillusioned and desperately alone.
And the world could care less. Without you or me, the world continues to evolve until the day it has had enough and annihilates its inhabitants before mankind kills one another. Here’s a sobering thought: Who really gives a damn about your existence?
I am tired. An understatement. I am exhausted. Sometimes I can hardly breathe. Sometimes I am tempted to throw in the towel and say, “That’s it. I have had enough. Screw it.” Yet I stay to fight another day. Perhaps it is poignant. Perhaps it is simply pathetic that my life is a crusade to fight against the odds, to overcome the insurmountable odds that life has continuously thrown at me. I have survived. Or have I?
I would not fall without a fight. Yet I am a mere mortal. My body is weary, leaden with fatigue. My soul is disenchanted with this perpetual battle that I fight alone. The tears cloud my vision, I can no longer see clearly. Perhaps I need a rest. Perhaps I really do not care anymore. I am tired. I am exhausted.
‘ If I had wings, I would take off and fly away from this crazy world. Even if you are the one to come upon me, do not stop me.’
Why then, do we fight on? Who then, do we fight for? Most of us stumble through life without having a fucking clue what exactly we want out of life. Go here, do that, we are told. We have lost the primal and basic ability to think for ourselves; like a misguided dog chasing its own tail, we travel in a circular route, seeking our self worth and inadvertently find ourselves back where we started, disillusioned and desperately alone.
And the world could care less. Without you or me, the world continues to evolve until the day it has had enough and annihilates its inhabitants before mankind kills one another. Here’s a sobering thought: Who really gives a damn about your existence?
I am tired. An understatement. I am exhausted. Sometimes I can hardly breathe. Sometimes I am tempted to throw in the towel and say, “That’s it. I have had enough. Screw it.” Yet I stay to fight another day. Perhaps it is poignant. Perhaps it is simply pathetic that my life is a crusade to fight against the odds, to overcome the insurmountable odds that life has continuously thrown at me. I have survived. Or have I?
I would not fall without a fight. Yet I am a mere mortal. My body is weary, leaden with fatigue. My soul is disenchanted with this perpetual battle that I fight alone. The tears cloud my vision, I can no longer see clearly. Perhaps I need a rest. Perhaps I really do not care anymore. I am tired. I am exhausted.
‘ If I had wings, I would take off and fly away from this crazy world. Even if you are the one to come upon me, do not stop me.’
Thursday, December 27, 2007
My Top 10 wishes for 2008
My Top 10 wishes for 2008
1. Up in smoke
I know I am beginning to sound like a broken record, when in all honesty, I have done absolutely nothing about it. People who know me long enough would probably snigger and go “yeah right”. I realize I have as much credibility on this matter as Bush has on the Iraq war yet I also realize that I have now been smoking for the good part of a decade. With that dubious distinction follows a small fortune and probably a few years of my life as well. So there you are. My first wish for 2008 is to quit smoking.
Here’s a sobering thought. Have you ever realized that those damn cigarette producers are actually conducting genocide on the world? And guess what? By paying for their cigarettes, we are actually funding the entire heinous process. Therefore, technically, that makes you and I a murderer. So, how many people do you want to kill in 2008?
2. What money can’t buy
Health. I would gladly accept the gift of good health bestowed to me in 2008, if I so deserve. If not, may good health be forthcoming for my family, especially my parents. They have led hard enough lives and I have failed in my duties as a son. Allow me to make amends; let the cycle of obligation fall upon me. Do what you would to me, fate would decree my path. Let my parents enjoy a blissful 2008.
3. You’ll Never Walk Along…….
Come May 2008, Liverpool would be crowned champions of England for a record 19th time.
It probably would not happen. Cut me open and Liverpool red flows through my veins but let’s be realistic here. I said when the season started that Liverpool are probably not going to win the title this season, despite the introduction of a clutch of exciting new arrivals over the summer, noticeably the phenomenon known as Fernando Torres. What I did say was that Liverpool would be closer to challenging for the title. And they are.
Talks of a crisis are ludicrous. Entering the New Year, Liverpool are 9 points behind leaders Manchester United, 8 points behind Arsenal and 2 points behind Chelsea, with a game in hand on all three teams.
Frankly, I am sick and tired of the “Benitez-bashing” that perpetually dominates the press, both local and abroad. Yet, the most disappointing aspect of the entire saga is hearing so-called “Liverpool fans” joining the clamour for Rafael to be sacked. These “Liverpool fans” are disgraceful and have no place in the traditions of this very, very special club.
It took Alex Ferguson 6 years to win his first league title as United manager before United dislodged Liverpool at the pinnacle of English football. Likewise, Benitez needs time to drag a Liverpool side that was in decline back to its former glory. Open your eyes. This is the best Liverpool side since the days when Kenny “The King” Dalglish, John Barnes, Ian Rush, Alan Hansen and co swept all before them in the all-conquering teams of the 80s.
I could go on forever to argue for Benitez’s case but this column is not all about Liverpool. Still, for those with short memories, Liverpool reached two European Champions League finals in three seasons under Benitez, winning their 5th European Cup in that monumental night in Istanbul. Ferguson led United to their 1st Champions League semi-final in eight years last season. Arsene Wenger led Arsenal to their one and only final in 2006 after almost a decade at the helm. Mourinho and Chelsea? Beaten by Liverpool in the semi-finals in 2005 and 2007.
I rest my case. For now.
4. ….And may they rot alone in hell
While Liverpool win the league title, United, Chelsea and Everton get relegated. Ok. Now I am getting ahead of myself.
5. Singapore qualifying for the World Cup in 2010
Can Singapore’s football team defy insurmountable odds and conquer the impossible? Well, could United, Chelsea and Everton really be relegated from the Premier League? Eeeerrmmm….emphatically, NO.
Still, if Greece enacted mission impossible in winning the European Championships in 2004, I dare to dream. And if anyone is reading this, take me up on it. If Singapore qualifies for the World Cup in 2010, yours truly would stand in the middle of Orchard Road and offer my very passionate rendition of “Majullah Singapura”.
6. Up, up and away
Transportation fees go up. Utilities bills go up. Oil prices go up. Food prices go up. GST goes up. CPF withdrawal dates go up. Your blood pressure goes up. Your salaries go up. Right, in your dreams. With inflation expected to hit the roof in 2008, expect everything from staple food to your guilty indulgences to cost more than they ever did. Time to beg your boss for a pay rise or be part of a grand bank heist. Either way, it beats waiting for the government to hand out cash for you to spend. As the Hokkien famously say, “dan ku ku la.”
7. Time waits for no man
If procrastination were a crime, most of us would be charged guilty with no hope of parole. Therefore, the New Year always offers us an opportunity to look at our lives from a fresh perspective and re-evaluate our goals and priorities for the year ahead.
Therefore, after much thoughtful consideration, (actually it took as much time as slapping my doggie for jumping up on me but hell, at least I thought about it) I surmise that these are important issues for me in 2008:
My studies. Although I can’t control having to work with imbeciles at times, it is high time I re-discover my motivation and drive. I am doing this for myself, not for anybody else.
My family. Looking back at 2007 one of the most satisfying aspects of the year flown by is the improving relationship with my parents, especially my dad. I intend to build on it.
My writing. No, it is not ok to hold it back to another day. If I habour any serious dreams of becoming a writer, I have got to be writing regularly.
My friends. Time to catch up with those I hold dear to my heart. For those who do not really care two hoots about me, guess what? I don’t really care too. Go to hell. I would still say how I feel; I would still adhere to my beliefs and principles. Do not expect me to be a puppet; do not expect me to agree to everything you say, even if you make absolutely no sense. Instead, expect me to be even more frank and open this year. I want to be true to others and myself. Hypocrisy is anathema to Shawn in 2008.
Seriously start scouting for a new job. Go ahead. Squeal on me. As if I care.
Facebook, porn and anything on public broadcast TV are a waste of my time. Period.
8. Two makes a pair
Let me state categorically that none of my wishes are in any particular order of importance. Significantly, this is the least important of the lot. Even if more and more of my friends are getting married. Even if sometimes you do need somebody besides you. Even if it means regular sex.
Ok, ok, fine. At the expense of sounding like a sex-depraved pervert, I do secretly (so much for that being a secret now) hope to find that special somebody in 2008. Or maybe I really just want the sex. Shut up, shawn. Shut up.
9. World Peace
The assassination of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto in Rawalpindi, Pakistan, really hit a sore chord with me. It is an abhorable and dastardly act of cowardice that revolts and nauseates me. This is no longer about religions, beliefs, nationalities or political agendas. Anytime anyone takes it into their own hands to take the innocent lives of ordinary citizens, the boundary of acceptance has been crossed. Besides the death of Mrs Bhutto, the suicide bomber took the lives of at least twenty innocent Pakistanis.
What depths have the world sunk to, if violence is the order of the day; when we turn Mother Earth’s green fields into killing fields of crimson red? From the Islamic extremism that personifies the Al-Qaeda and other Muslim organizations who preach for all Muslims to perform the “jihad”, or holy war against America and its allies, to the Middle East Crisis that threatens to plunge Israel and Palestine into renewed war should US-brokered peace talks break down, to the dictators of Myanmar’s junta’s bloody crack down on peaceful demonstrators, the bottom line is this. Innocent lives were lost and continue to be lost on a daily basis just so a bunch of murderers, psychopaths, tyrants and inadequate leaders achieve their agendas and political aims.
I reiterate that once innocent lives are lost, it is a situation that simply cannot be accepted or tolerated, even if some might lead you to believe otherwise. When George W. Bush ordered American troops to invade Iraq in 2003, he claimed that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction. Today, Saddam Hussein has been hanged and as yet, the US has found no evidence of such weapons of mass destruction. Instead, scores of innocent Iraqi civilians have been killed as the country slips into civil war. If Bush genuinely still believes that the war in Iraq can be won, he should be hanged like Saddam Hussein. How do you proclaim a victory when the blood of thousands rests on your very own hands?
There is just no reason whatsoever, to legislate for the indiscriminate taking of lives. Some may call it collateral damage; some may call it a holy duty, yet others may claim that it is for national security. Bollocks. I call them goddamn murderers.
“A little girl was asked by her father if she had gotten everything she wanted for Christmas. Shaking her head sadly, she pointed towards the newspaper spread on the table with the headline screaming ‘Dozens killed in suicide bombing’”
10. This is for you
If you are reading this, you know whom you are. There is not a shadow of doubt that life is hard and we all face our own difficulties, trying to exorcise our inner demons and overcome the challenges that life throws down at us.
Sometimes, we get tired and weary and we feel we simply do not have the strength to go on anymore. Yet, have we truly realized how precious life is; how life has been deprived from others who are not quite ready to give it up?
When we give ourselves up, all hope is lost. For those whose lives have been nothing but a bed of roses, good for them. Somebody who has never failed can never truly savour the sweetness of success. There is no comparison to be made. You live your life for yourself, not for anybody else. You decide how your life pans out; you decide what meaning life holds for you.
You are a fighter, as I know you. I do not know you as somebody who gives up without a fight and taking your life does not bring you redemption. It brings you condemnation and forgiveness that I would refuse to grant you for eternity.
Be strong. You are not alone. You are never alone.
1. Up in smoke
I know I am beginning to sound like a broken record, when in all honesty, I have done absolutely nothing about it. People who know me long enough would probably snigger and go “yeah right”. I realize I have as much credibility on this matter as Bush has on the Iraq war yet I also realize that I have now been smoking for the good part of a decade. With that dubious distinction follows a small fortune and probably a few years of my life as well. So there you are. My first wish for 2008 is to quit smoking.
Here’s a sobering thought. Have you ever realized that those damn cigarette producers are actually conducting genocide on the world? And guess what? By paying for their cigarettes, we are actually funding the entire heinous process. Therefore, technically, that makes you and I a murderer. So, how many people do you want to kill in 2008?
2. What money can’t buy
Health. I would gladly accept the gift of good health bestowed to me in 2008, if I so deserve. If not, may good health be forthcoming for my family, especially my parents. They have led hard enough lives and I have failed in my duties as a son. Allow me to make amends; let the cycle of obligation fall upon me. Do what you would to me, fate would decree my path. Let my parents enjoy a blissful 2008.
3. You’ll Never Walk Along…….
Come May 2008, Liverpool would be crowned champions of England for a record 19th time.
It probably would not happen. Cut me open and Liverpool red flows through my veins but let’s be realistic here. I said when the season started that Liverpool are probably not going to win the title this season, despite the introduction of a clutch of exciting new arrivals over the summer, noticeably the phenomenon known as Fernando Torres. What I did say was that Liverpool would be closer to challenging for the title. And they are.
Talks of a crisis are ludicrous. Entering the New Year, Liverpool are 9 points behind leaders Manchester United, 8 points behind Arsenal and 2 points behind Chelsea, with a game in hand on all three teams.
Frankly, I am sick and tired of the “Benitez-bashing” that perpetually dominates the press, both local and abroad. Yet, the most disappointing aspect of the entire saga is hearing so-called “Liverpool fans” joining the clamour for Rafael to be sacked. These “Liverpool fans” are disgraceful and have no place in the traditions of this very, very special club.
It took Alex Ferguson 6 years to win his first league title as United manager before United dislodged Liverpool at the pinnacle of English football. Likewise, Benitez needs time to drag a Liverpool side that was in decline back to its former glory. Open your eyes. This is the best Liverpool side since the days when Kenny “The King” Dalglish, John Barnes, Ian Rush, Alan Hansen and co swept all before them in the all-conquering teams of the 80s.
I could go on forever to argue for Benitez’s case but this column is not all about Liverpool. Still, for those with short memories, Liverpool reached two European Champions League finals in three seasons under Benitez, winning their 5th European Cup in that monumental night in Istanbul. Ferguson led United to their 1st Champions League semi-final in eight years last season. Arsene Wenger led Arsenal to their one and only final in 2006 after almost a decade at the helm. Mourinho and Chelsea? Beaten by Liverpool in the semi-finals in 2005 and 2007.
I rest my case. For now.
4. ….And may they rot alone in hell
While Liverpool win the league title, United, Chelsea and Everton get relegated. Ok. Now I am getting ahead of myself.
5. Singapore qualifying for the World Cup in 2010
Can Singapore’s football team defy insurmountable odds and conquer the impossible? Well, could United, Chelsea and Everton really be relegated from the Premier League? Eeeerrmmm….emphatically, NO.
Still, if Greece enacted mission impossible in winning the European Championships in 2004, I dare to dream. And if anyone is reading this, take me up on it. If Singapore qualifies for the World Cup in 2010, yours truly would stand in the middle of Orchard Road and offer my very passionate rendition of “Majullah Singapura”.
6. Up, up and away
Transportation fees go up. Utilities bills go up. Oil prices go up. Food prices go up. GST goes up. CPF withdrawal dates go up. Your blood pressure goes up. Your salaries go up. Right, in your dreams. With inflation expected to hit the roof in 2008, expect everything from staple food to your guilty indulgences to cost more than they ever did. Time to beg your boss for a pay rise or be part of a grand bank heist. Either way, it beats waiting for the government to hand out cash for you to spend. As the Hokkien famously say, “dan ku ku la.”
7. Time waits for no man
If procrastination were a crime, most of us would be charged guilty with no hope of parole. Therefore, the New Year always offers us an opportunity to look at our lives from a fresh perspective and re-evaluate our goals and priorities for the year ahead.
Therefore, after much thoughtful consideration, (actually it took as much time as slapping my doggie for jumping up on me but hell, at least I thought about it) I surmise that these are important issues for me in 2008:
My studies. Although I can’t control having to work with imbeciles at times, it is high time I re-discover my motivation and drive. I am doing this for myself, not for anybody else.
My family. Looking back at 2007 one of the most satisfying aspects of the year flown by is the improving relationship with my parents, especially my dad. I intend to build on it.
My writing. No, it is not ok to hold it back to another day. If I habour any serious dreams of becoming a writer, I have got to be writing regularly.
My friends. Time to catch up with those I hold dear to my heart. For those who do not really care two hoots about me, guess what? I don’t really care too. Go to hell. I would still say how I feel; I would still adhere to my beliefs and principles. Do not expect me to be a puppet; do not expect me to agree to everything you say, even if you make absolutely no sense. Instead, expect me to be even more frank and open this year. I want to be true to others and myself. Hypocrisy is anathema to Shawn in 2008.
Seriously start scouting for a new job. Go ahead. Squeal on me. As if I care.
Facebook, porn and anything on public broadcast TV are a waste of my time. Period.
8. Two makes a pair
Let me state categorically that none of my wishes are in any particular order of importance. Significantly, this is the least important of the lot. Even if more and more of my friends are getting married. Even if sometimes you do need somebody besides you. Even if it means regular sex.
Ok, ok, fine. At the expense of sounding like a sex-depraved pervert, I do secretly (so much for that being a secret now) hope to find that special somebody in 2008. Or maybe I really just want the sex. Shut up, shawn. Shut up.
9. World Peace
The assassination of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto in Rawalpindi, Pakistan, really hit a sore chord with me. It is an abhorable and dastardly act of cowardice that revolts and nauseates me. This is no longer about religions, beliefs, nationalities or political agendas. Anytime anyone takes it into their own hands to take the innocent lives of ordinary citizens, the boundary of acceptance has been crossed. Besides the death of Mrs Bhutto, the suicide bomber took the lives of at least twenty innocent Pakistanis.
What depths have the world sunk to, if violence is the order of the day; when we turn Mother Earth’s green fields into killing fields of crimson red? From the Islamic extremism that personifies the Al-Qaeda and other Muslim organizations who preach for all Muslims to perform the “jihad”, or holy war against America and its allies, to the Middle East Crisis that threatens to plunge Israel and Palestine into renewed war should US-brokered peace talks break down, to the dictators of Myanmar’s junta’s bloody crack down on peaceful demonstrators, the bottom line is this. Innocent lives were lost and continue to be lost on a daily basis just so a bunch of murderers, psychopaths, tyrants and inadequate leaders achieve their agendas and political aims.
I reiterate that once innocent lives are lost, it is a situation that simply cannot be accepted or tolerated, even if some might lead you to believe otherwise. When George W. Bush ordered American troops to invade Iraq in 2003, he claimed that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction. Today, Saddam Hussein has been hanged and as yet, the US has found no evidence of such weapons of mass destruction. Instead, scores of innocent Iraqi civilians have been killed as the country slips into civil war. If Bush genuinely still believes that the war in Iraq can be won, he should be hanged like Saddam Hussein. How do you proclaim a victory when the blood of thousands rests on your very own hands?
There is just no reason whatsoever, to legislate for the indiscriminate taking of lives. Some may call it collateral damage; some may call it a holy duty, yet others may claim that it is for national security. Bollocks. I call them goddamn murderers.
“A little girl was asked by her father if she had gotten everything she wanted for Christmas. Shaking her head sadly, she pointed towards the newspaper spread on the table with the headline screaming ‘Dozens killed in suicide bombing’”
10. This is for you
If you are reading this, you know whom you are. There is not a shadow of doubt that life is hard and we all face our own difficulties, trying to exorcise our inner demons and overcome the challenges that life throws down at us.
Sometimes, we get tired and weary and we feel we simply do not have the strength to go on anymore. Yet, have we truly realized how precious life is; how life has been deprived from others who are not quite ready to give it up?
When we give ourselves up, all hope is lost. For those whose lives have been nothing but a bed of roses, good for them. Somebody who has never failed can never truly savour the sweetness of success. There is no comparison to be made. You live your life for yourself, not for anybody else. You decide how your life pans out; you decide what meaning life holds for you.
You are a fighter, as I know you. I do not know you as somebody who gives up without a fight and taking your life does not bring you redemption. It brings you condemnation and forgiveness that I would refuse to grant you for eternity.
Be strong. You are not alone. You are never alone.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Who would be England’s new manager, and who should?
I have a friend, who was kind enough to praise me for correcting predicting that England would not win Euro 2008. Well, I didn’t explicitly state that England would lose to Croatia but they certainly would not win if they are not even going to be there, so I guess, in a way, I am right. Well, you get the picture.
So she went on to ask me the question on everyone’s lips: who would be England’s next manager? Yes, the nation waits with bated breath. No, I am not talking about England. I am talking about Singapore. Such is our crazed obsession with anything to do with English football that who would be the next England manager dominates coffeeshop banter and blog communities than the fact that our national team have reached the third qualifying round of Asia qualifying for the World Cup. National patriotism? Ouch. But that’s a story for another day.
Now, it has been awhile since I wrote and I had the time to sit back and devour the stories, debates and analysis on who exactly should be the next England manager. Here’s my take.
The call for an Englishman (or anyone who most closely resembles being an Englishman)
Which EPL team that has an English coach is currently highest in the league standing? Portsmouth and Harry Redknapp. ‘Enuff said.
The most preposterous suggestion I have heard is Alan Shearer. Clamoring for Shearer reeks of absolute desperation and an overdose of football fantasy and romanticism. To throw someone who has absolutely no experience in coaching and management into the deep end and expect Klinsmann-esque effect is pushing it too far. Jurgen Klinsmann led Germany to the semi-finals of the world cup on home soil and I suspect that he quit immediately after that because he realized that he had taken the team as far as he possibly could. Who dares gamble? Not England.
The call for “the foreigner”
Take it from a pragmatic point of view. What priority holds for the next England manager? Qualifying for the World Cup in 2010. Who are the last two World Cup winning managers/coaches? Marcello Lippi and Luiz Felipe Scolari.
England are boring enough as it is so let’s do without an Italian at the helm, with all due respect to great coaches like Lippi and Fabio Capello.
Scolari may have won the World Cup in 2002 not with the most exciting Brazilian team you were ever going to see and you may question what exactly he has won with the Portugal team since he took over the helm. You may want to sit back and digest the fact that before Scolari led Portugal to the final of the last European Championship and the semi-finals of the last World Cup, the last time Portugal reached the semi-finals of any competition was in 1966, when the legendary Eusebio led Portugal to the semi-finals of the World Cup. Make no mistake; the man knows what he is doing and that is not something I can say with much conviction about previous England managers.
The call for the “ Special One”
Jose Mourinho? GOD blesses the queen if Mourinho ever becomes England manager and that’s all I could be bothered to talk about Mourinho as England manager.
Verdict:
They say don’t read too much into the papers and the speculation but when you have a football association that is as predictable as the way its football team play, I say expect Fabio Capello or Jose Mourinho to be named as England manager before the new year comes about.
So she went on to ask me the question on everyone’s lips: who would be England’s next manager? Yes, the nation waits with bated breath. No, I am not talking about England. I am talking about Singapore. Such is our crazed obsession with anything to do with English football that who would be the next England manager dominates coffeeshop banter and blog communities than the fact that our national team have reached the third qualifying round of Asia qualifying for the World Cup. National patriotism? Ouch. But that’s a story for another day.
Now, it has been awhile since I wrote and I had the time to sit back and devour the stories, debates and analysis on who exactly should be the next England manager. Here’s my take.
The call for an Englishman (or anyone who most closely resembles being an Englishman)
Which EPL team that has an English coach is currently highest in the league standing? Portsmouth and Harry Redknapp. ‘Enuff said.
The most preposterous suggestion I have heard is Alan Shearer. Clamoring for Shearer reeks of absolute desperation and an overdose of football fantasy and romanticism. To throw someone who has absolutely no experience in coaching and management into the deep end and expect Klinsmann-esque effect is pushing it too far. Jurgen Klinsmann led Germany to the semi-finals of the world cup on home soil and I suspect that he quit immediately after that because he realized that he had taken the team as far as he possibly could. Who dares gamble? Not England.
The call for “the foreigner”
Take it from a pragmatic point of view. What priority holds for the next England manager? Qualifying for the World Cup in 2010. Who are the last two World Cup winning managers/coaches? Marcello Lippi and Luiz Felipe Scolari.
England are boring enough as it is so let’s do without an Italian at the helm, with all due respect to great coaches like Lippi and Fabio Capello.
Scolari may have won the World Cup in 2002 not with the most exciting Brazilian team you were ever going to see and you may question what exactly he has won with the Portugal team since he took over the helm. You may want to sit back and digest the fact that before Scolari led Portugal to the final of the last European Championship and the semi-finals of the last World Cup, the last time Portugal reached the semi-finals of any competition was in 1966, when the legendary Eusebio led Portugal to the semi-finals of the World Cup. Make no mistake; the man knows what he is doing and that is not something I can say with much conviction about previous England managers.
The call for the “ Special One”
Jose Mourinho? GOD blesses the queen if Mourinho ever becomes England manager and that’s all I could be bothered to talk about Mourinho as England manager.
Verdict:
They say don’t read too much into the papers and the speculation but when you have a football association that is as predictable as the way its football team play, I say expect Fabio Capello or Jose Mourinho to be named as England manager before the new year comes about.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
A minute of silence
It saddened me when I read about the deaths of five young Singaporeans who drowned in Phnom Penh, Cambodia when their boat capsized during last Friday’s Tonle Sap dragon boat race.
This is especially when the tragedy happened came on the heels of me writing about the fragility of life. It filled me with profound poignancy when one of the victim’s fathers commented in a media interview that he regretted not having been able to say anything to his son before he departed for his ill-fated trip to Cambodia. Now, he would never have the chance again, ever.
Therefore, I reiterate again to each and every one of you reading this: A life full of regrets is one that diminishes and devalues.
Finally, I hope with all earnest that the media frenzy cease even while the bodies of the victims return to Singapore. Yes, there is a need to analyze what went wrong and prevent similar tragedies from happening again. What there is not any need to, is to point angry, accusatory fingers at who or what may have been causal contributors to the tragedy and there is certainly no necessity to allow this terrible event to spiral into a media circus. Allow the bereaved families to grieve silently, bring a closure for them as quickly as possible and afford them the space to move on with their lives.
Meanwhile, do find it in your heart to say a prayer for the five young men who, no matter who could be done or said, could never be brought back to life again. We can only hope that they have departed to a better place and achieved eternal peace.
This is especially when the tragedy happened came on the heels of me writing about the fragility of life. It filled me with profound poignancy when one of the victim’s fathers commented in a media interview that he regretted not having been able to say anything to his son before he departed for his ill-fated trip to Cambodia. Now, he would never have the chance again, ever.
Therefore, I reiterate again to each and every one of you reading this: A life full of regrets is one that diminishes and devalues.
Finally, I hope with all earnest that the media frenzy cease even while the bodies of the victims return to Singapore. Yes, there is a need to analyze what went wrong and prevent similar tragedies from happening again. What there is not any need to, is to point angry, accusatory fingers at who or what may have been causal contributors to the tragedy and there is certainly no necessity to allow this terrible event to spiral into a media circus. Allow the bereaved families to grieve silently, bring a closure for them as quickly as possible and afford them the space to move on with their lives.
Meanwhile, do find it in your heart to say a prayer for the five young men who, no matter who could be done or said, could never be brought back to life again. We can only hope that they have departed to a better place and achieved eternal peace.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
How fragile is life
I was recently re-introduced to the fragility of life when my mother fell ill and was rushed to hospital. Thankfully, she emerged out of the ordeal unscathed and is currently convalescing at home.
Yet it got me thinking. It takes a lifetime to build a life yet it takes only a second to take one away. The next second may be the last.
Prior to my mother’s episode, I was rocked by the news that a friend had jumped to his death. Granted, I hardly knew him yet I never saw it coming. In fact, most of us did not. We were left with unanswered questions and regrets that we failed to spot his inclinations to end his life and perhaps to have pulled him back to where he rightfully belongs. A life.
On a fateful day of July 7th 2006, I had my own brush with death when a rogue decided to plunge a knife into me. Had he had any deadly intentions, I would surely have perished.
We only live once. What is here today may no longer be here tomorrow. A life sullied with regrets is poignant. It may be cliché but the phrase “at least I tried” brings closure and peace. Somebody who has never experienced failures would never fully savor the sweetness of success.
A dream is only impossible because we think it to be. An impossible dream becomes a reality because we want it to be. I may be scoffed at, I might be ridiculed, I might be downright dismissed but it does not stop me from aspiring to be a writer. My detractors do not dictate my life. They do not shape my future. I do. I believe. You should too.
Slow down. Look around you. How long have you not looked into the eyes of the people you love and tell them that you loved them? I cannot yet bring myself to tell my parents that I love them; I hope I may one day. I choose now to allow my actions to show that I do care, that I do not take them for granted, that despite their imperfections, they were the ones who gave me life, the ones who made sacrifices to bring me up and mould me into what I am today. For that, I am eternally grateful and in debt, to the day they leave for a better place. And I never will know when that day would be.
Sometimes, all we get is one opportunity. Once gone, a second might never come. Today may be all we got. Make it count.
Yet it got me thinking. It takes a lifetime to build a life yet it takes only a second to take one away. The next second may be the last.
Prior to my mother’s episode, I was rocked by the news that a friend had jumped to his death. Granted, I hardly knew him yet I never saw it coming. In fact, most of us did not. We were left with unanswered questions and regrets that we failed to spot his inclinations to end his life and perhaps to have pulled him back to where he rightfully belongs. A life.
On a fateful day of July 7th 2006, I had my own brush with death when a rogue decided to plunge a knife into me. Had he had any deadly intentions, I would surely have perished.
We only live once. What is here today may no longer be here tomorrow. A life sullied with regrets is poignant. It may be cliché but the phrase “at least I tried” brings closure and peace. Somebody who has never experienced failures would never fully savor the sweetness of success.
A dream is only impossible because we think it to be. An impossible dream becomes a reality because we want it to be. I may be scoffed at, I might be ridiculed, I might be downright dismissed but it does not stop me from aspiring to be a writer. My detractors do not dictate my life. They do not shape my future. I do. I believe. You should too.
Slow down. Look around you. How long have you not looked into the eyes of the people you love and tell them that you loved them? I cannot yet bring myself to tell my parents that I love them; I hope I may one day. I choose now to allow my actions to show that I do care, that I do not take them for granted, that despite their imperfections, they were the ones who gave me life, the ones who made sacrifices to bring me up and mould me into what I am today. For that, I am eternally grateful and in debt, to the day they leave for a better place. And I never will know when that day would be.
Sometimes, all we get is one opportunity. Once gone, a second might never come. Today may be all we got. Make it count.
Dear Lord, forgive me
To all England fans, I hereby issue a formal apology for dissecting and belittling your beloved team’s chances of winning Euro 2008. I did not have to throw you into emotional turmoil, reading how depressingly minute your team’s chances were of winning the tournament. Rejoice. You do not have to experience the agony of seeing them fail at the tournament proper. They would not even be there.
Congratulations to Steve McClaren. You are officially the worst England dud manager since Graham “ Tulip” Taylor. Fret not. While they sharpen their knives and drive the final nail in your coffin, you can start writing your resume. Seriously, it’s not that bad. Not too many managers can state categorically “ I failed to bring England to a major competition. Beat that.” Last I heard, Birmingham City is looking for a manger. You could add next season’s 1st division championship title to your impressive CV.
Congratulations to the Russian national team. Not only have you qualified for Euro 2008 but also you suddenly don’t look like absolute fools losing to the might Israel anymore. Plus, you get some coffee money from one certain Roman Abramovich. Top deal.
Finally, congratulations to the entire England team. You managed to surpass all my expectations and proved me wrong. Not only are you as inadequate as I painstakingly put you to be. Turns out, you are even worse. Three Lions. How about three pussies?
Disclaimer: I unreservedly apologize to all animal lovers, especially cat lovers. The above passage was meant to be purely metaphorical and in no way links cats to the losers that form the England national football team.
Congratulations to Steve McClaren. You are officially the worst England dud manager since Graham “ Tulip” Taylor. Fret not. While they sharpen their knives and drive the final nail in your coffin, you can start writing your resume. Seriously, it’s not that bad. Not too many managers can state categorically “ I failed to bring England to a major competition. Beat that.” Last I heard, Birmingham City is looking for a manger. You could add next season’s 1st division championship title to your impressive CV.
Congratulations to the Russian national team. Not only have you qualified for Euro 2008 but also you suddenly don’t look like absolute fools losing to the might Israel anymore. Plus, you get some coffee money from one certain Roman Abramovich. Top deal.
Finally, congratulations to the entire England team. You managed to surpass all my expectations and proved me wrong. Not only are you as inadequate as I painstakingly put you to be. Turns out, you are even worse. Three Lions. How about three pussies?
Disclaimer: I unreservedly apologize to all animal lovers, especially cat lovers. The above passage was meant to be purely metaphorical and in no way links cats to the losers that form the England national football team.
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